WOO-HOO -- Stage 3 Complete (and successful!!)

GOAL REACHED. . .40 lbs GONE!  (Before and after pics coming soon)

I have reached the end of my second round of dieting, therefore completing Stage 3 of my (diabolical?) plan!  Now on to Stage 4. . .

• Stage 1: Initial round of dieting
• Stage 2: 9 week period of stabilization
• Stage 3: Second round of dieting
• Stage 4: Stabilizing, slowly losing down to final goal weight

On the advice of my excellent chiropractor and wellness coach, Dr. Michelle Robin, I have decided to reach my final goal weight in 10 lb increments.  But as of the end of Stage 3, I have succeeded in reaching my initial goal of 40 lbs lighter! (this is after both rounds of dieting, not just during stage 3)  From here I will slowly, through clean eating and exercise, reach for 10 lbs off at a time, and see how I feel at those benchmarks and decide whether or not I can maintain or continue losing.

Stage 4 is all about smart eating--I'll be posting strategies and tips for doing this, exercising 3-4 days/week--more tips, and lots and lots of love and grace for myself and my relationship with the scale.

Even though it's been almost a month since I've posted, you have all been on my mind.  Knowing that there are a handful of people out there pulling for and praying for me has made a difference, and I am grateful!  Even if you can't post a comment here on the blog (crazy sign-in requirements, etc), please comment on Facebook if you can. . .I'd love to hear from you!

One word of explanation: I have specifically not shared the specific plan I have used to lose weight because there are those who would (and have) criticize and judge me.  I understand that what I have done is extreme, but it worked and is working for me.  Just yesterday I spoke with my doctor about stopping my blood pressure medicine completely.  My energy levels are at an all time high.  For me, that's success. Plus, I have a plan to go forward.  One that is NOT extreme, but healthy, and designed just for me.  What works for me, may not work for you.  But be encouraged by my success, know that SUCCESS can be yours too.  It's just a matter of finding what works for you and giving yourself the grace and permission to see it through, no matter what the critics say.

Many blessings, my friends!

~Dawn

Steady as she goes!

Day 17 of my second round, and I'm doing quite well, thank you!

This round has been about the same as last, with one important exception: I've know what to expect.  At the beginning, I didn't experience the headache and "detoxing" feeling I had the first time, but other than that it's been precisely what I anticipated.

I am now down by 18.5% since starting at the end of May. And after taking my measurements this morning, I've lost a total of 24.75 inches!!  I'm still too shy to share my actual weight, so maybe at the end when the goal is closer, k?

This time has seen more temptation.  I'm alone most of the day, for most of the week.  There are no people around to witness any cheating, so I have to be true to myself and stick to the plan.  And so far, so good.

Having an incredibly supportive husband goes a long way, let me tell you.  He's taken on the responsibility of feeding himself and our girls dinner each night.  I've planned the meals, but he is doing the cooking and overseeing dinner while I fix my own separate meal.  Tonight he's going to grill up a bunch of chicken for me, too.  I am so blessed!

No great words of wisdom today (have there ever been??), and no big revelations.  Except to say, "I'm plugging along!"

I hope your day is blessed!!

~Dawn

Genius idea. . .possibly!

This post may seem a little "off topic" but for me it is not.  Simplifying and stream-lining my life and work has always been a passion of mine and it seemed like a fun idea to share one of these ideas in blog-land!

With the new school year off to a roaring start, I noticed that my children, both girls: Fashionista (9) and Mini-Me (6), were having a terrible time getting ready on time in the morning (without me pushing, prodding and otherwise coaxing them).  In addition to that, they resembled tornadoes upon arriving home in the afternoon.  Over the summer we had gotten away from any semblance of structure, so it was time to brainstorm how to bring order to this chaos. 

This is where the "healthiest me" comes into the picture.  If I am a screaming mess by the time I get them to school, that's not good for anyone.  And if I spent a morning or afternoon picking up and cleaning the house, I'm NOT happy when my kids walk in the door and start leaving a trail of shoes, backpacks, papers, barrettes, socks and lunch bags.  So this is as much about self-care as it is teaching responsibility to my offspring !

In the past, we have used lists to help the girls stay on track.  When they were very little and pre-readers we used pictures that depicted what they were to be doing: making a bed, brushing teeth, etc.  Then we graduated to written lists. The challenge with both types of lists was that they were in one location (in the kitchen on the fridge or whiteboard) so the girls had to run back and forth to check their lists to see what they needed to do next.  While I don't usually enforce a strict 1,2,3 order to their tasks, I think doing it this way does encourage the formation of habit and can very quickly lead to auto-pilot-like behavior. I hoped. . . 

So enter my brainstorming session.  How can I make it easier to check the list?  I had tried putting separate lists in the various rooms where the tasks took place.  

• Kitchen: eat breakfast, take vitamin
• Bedroom: make bed, get dressed
• Bathroom: go potty, wash hands, brush teeth

But that didn't work very well either (in fact, worse then one central list).  So I then the light bulb came one: LANYARDS!  Yes!  I could make lists specific to each daughter and attach it to a lanyard that she would wear until everything was done. 

So I set about finding some.  Fortunately, a friend had some extras laying around at work and was kind enough to let me use 2 of them.  (Thanks, friend!)  

This morning I followed these steps to make my girls' lanyards:

1. Typed up lists for each daughter - for morning and afternoon - giving specific details if necessary (Wednesdays-put library books in your backpack)
2. Cut out, attached to both sides and laminated to 4x6 index cards using packaging tape
3. Clipped lanyards to the cardss

Here's what they look like (I chose index cards in their favorite colors):

Morning list on left, afternoon on right

And if there is something usual that needs to happen, then I can simply attach a sticky note to the card, on the appropriate side.  I'm also going to employ our kitchen whiteboard for various daily tasks for which they are responsible.

I am so excited to see how these in action!  Maybe I'll snap a pic of the Fashionista and Mini-Me using them, and post those later.

Here's to your healthiest self!

~Dawn

Here we go!

Today marks Day 1 of the next phase of my weight reduction plan.  This diet will last for a set period of time, after which I plan to be at my goal weight.  Watch the ticker above for updates as my weight falls.

I'm excited about this part because, from past experience I know a few things:

1. I know HOW to do it.  Food lists, timing, cravings, etc. I know what to expect and can be adequately prepared for whatever comes up.

2. I know it WORKS!  My last round saw a loss of almost 25 lbs. and because I know what I'm doing this time, I expect the same or better.

3. My family does just fine.  From making two different dinners to eating out to family events.  I have an extremely supportive husband and children.  During the last round my youngest was concerned that I was sad during my diet, but I explained that it was for a set amount of time and after it was over, I'd be healthier.  That made her happy and I hope taught that the lesson of "short term sacrifice, long term gain (so to speak).

I've added a new feature to my blog: Followers.  If you'd like to be notified automatically when I post, just use the link to the right.  To be honest I'm not positive about how it works, but try it and let me know what happens!

I begin this new challenge at only 1.7 lbs over where I finished at the end of the last round.  And that was 8 weeks ago!  Needless to say, I'm eager to get this show on the road.

Going strong!

Just "hanging out" here in maintenance-land...but have not been more than 4 lbs over my ending weight almost 7 weeks ago!  I still have more to go as you can see from ticker on the right.  But I have absolute confidence it will happen.

The plan right now is to begin the next phase of dieting right after Labor Day, and finish up right before my husband's birthday.  More importantly, I'll be done with stabilization well before the holidays begin!

The challenge this time around is that I am going back to school.  Yes, I've just registered for a class at our local community college as a prerequisite for entering a training program which give me the training I need to enter the career of my dreams!  Fortunately, it is only the one class for this semester. However, it's been a LONG time since I was in school and back then I didn't have a husband, house and children to care for along with my studies.  But I know I can do this, so I'm going in with my eyes wide open, readying strategies for challenges and set-backs.

This can-do attitude has permeated my life in the last several months and it's a beautiful thing!

Maintainence, baby!

Sorry for not posting for. . .oh my. . .a month!  Even though I haven't written about it, I've been hard at work getting used to my new body shape, new eating habits and strategizing for the next stage of my weight loss.

And to my shock and amazement it hasn't been nearly as difficult as I once feared.  For many years I used the excuse that if the weight cam off I wouldn't be able to maintain it. . .but with a few new habits I have been able to prove myself wrong.  It hasn't been a long time, but the scale has stayed within 2.5 lbs of my ending weight (from the diet) for the last month.  Here's what I'm doing:

1. Tracking, tracking, tracking!  It cannot be over-emphasized, you must track what you eat, water you take in and weigh yourself at regular intervals.  I do all 3 on a daily basis.  Some of the food tracking I do is frustrating because I don't really know how much I had of something (I do NOT measure everything) but I record it anyway and make my best guess.  Just that simple awareness of what I put in my mouth and the ownership of that behavior has helped me to walk away from the fridge or pantry many times in the last month.  Water is another crucial factor.  I learned very recently that the body can only metabolize fat stores with proper hydration!  And as for weighing myself.  I give myself a lot of grace and weigh on a daily basis.  If I start seeing an upward trend over the course of a few, I know what I need to do and I do it without judgement.

2. Add exercise, in any form you love (or can learn to love).  A long time ago I went to a gym that was fairly small and as such, had the cardio equipment close to the weight machines (not sure of the proper term for them).  So I got used to circuit training and LOVED it!  That gym has since closed and I've had to improvise at home.  Now I am doing a walk-at-home video as well as yoga and firming exercises.  I alternate the days and give myself the weekends off.  I've even set up a time and rotation schedule for when my girls go back to school, so there's no getting out of it.

3. Plans for breakfast, lunch and snacks.  I know what I like to eat, what I can eat and still maintain my weight.  So that's what I get for my food.  I try to stay away from prepackaged food if I can, even if it is low-cal, etc.  It may be convenient, but my body doesn't like it very much.  I have 2 options for breakfast that are quick and easy.  And for lunch I peruse the Weight Watcher's website to find a lunch which has several servings which I can make all at once and then reheat all week long.  This week's lunch has been a Bahn Mi-style Turkey Burger and it is DELICIOUS!  Hopefully you don't have to be a WW member to see the recipe.  As for snacks, I've kept it very simple: popcorn, fruit and veggies (a few).  Little or no dip for the veggies keeps things under control and I only choose what I know I'll eat.

I'm a long way from perfect and still have a ways to go before I see my goal weight, but I'm further down the road than I've ever been in my life and knowing I CAN DO THIS is one of the most amazing feelings ever!!

Stabilization. . .here we go!

Well, here I am in my first round of stabilization. I've not reached my final goal weight, but am taking things in stages so that I don't make myself crazy with deprivation. And, I have to say: so far, so good!

I'm learning that the processes which helped me lose weight are completely different from what I have to do to keep my current weight steady. And while that means more to eat, it also means a landslide of decisions on a daily basis. While wrestling those mental gymnastics, I came across some very good advice: set up your environment for success and pre-decide as much as possible. So yesterday at our Fourth of July cookout, I had my grill-master husband sear up about 4 lbs. of boneless, skinless chicken breast. My plan is to to divide it all into meal size portions and freeze. Then each evening I'll pull out frozen chicken (or shrimp or fish of some variety) to thaw for the next day's lunch. I have a variety of veggies and fresh fruit on hand too and will make one selection from each group to round out the meal. Breakfast, during the warm months, will be green smoothies--LUV them!  Not sure what the plan will be for cold weather. . .hmmm. And on it goes, planning the habituation of my meals and snacks.  For right now, I'm following a plan that worked very well for me during the final weeks of my first pregnancy when I was borderline diabetic, basically limiting the number of carb servings per meal or snack but also spreading them out over the course of the day.  I've decided to just be a smart as possible about dinner, but not to get too worked up about it.

The next area I'm working on is exercise.  This is a tough one for me because the best time for me to fit it into my schedule is first thing in the morning.  The problem is, I love to sleep.  No, not love, it's more than love.  It's complete and total adoration, devotion, an obsession.  But oddly enough, if I do get myself up, I feel just fine.  So I'll be brain-storming ways to wake up each morning happy to exercise my bod and keep this good thing going!

Goals for tomorrow regarding stabilization:

1. Plan a rotation of meats, fruits and veggies for lunches. . .purchase needed items for first week.
2. Plan a rotation of snacks (1 carb serving limit). . .purchase needed items for first week.
3. Purchase items for green smoothies.
4. CELEBRATE stabilization!!!

Drum Roll, please. . .

If you remember, I went to my doctor last week for a follow-up visit.  The initial result of that visit was that my blood pressure has returned to normal.  In addition to that, my doctor ordered blood tests to check my cholesterol, triglycerides, insulin levels, etc.  I got my results earlier this week.  EVERYTHING IS NORMAL!!  My overall cholesterol was never high, but the LDL and HDL weren't where they were supposed to be...but they are now!  And my triglycerides have been cut in HALF!  I've been so excited I can hardly stand it (and I'll bet my family and friends are rolling their eyes, too). I've seriously never felt better in my life.

Now that I'm approaching the end of my official dieting period, the planning for maintenance has begun.  In my mind it's just going to be more of the same, essentially, clean eating.  Lots of fresh veggies and fruit, lean meats and healthy carbs.  I will not, however, be depriving myself of sweets.  I'll just be in control of it...a little goes a long way (in more ways than one!).

The next big thing that must be added to the plan is exercise.  My husband (RB) has been consistently exercising since mid-April.  I've been so impressed with his commitment and gentleness with himself.  He walks every weekday Monday thru Friday and but does not walk on the weekends (or in severe thunderstorms, *whew*).  And I want to be just like RB when I grow up!  I have several other people in my life who have found exercise to be just the ticket for taking weight off and keeping it off.  I totally agree with that concept, but it's been a struggle for me to be consistent at it.  So now that I'm moving into maintenance with food, I'll be adding and shifting my focus and energy to exercising and finding what works for me.

Guest Blog: Filling Myself Up

For today, I have a treat for you.  Check out my sister-in-law's blog post: Filling Myself Up.  She and I are on similar journeys and this post really sums up where I am.  While you're on her blog, check out her other posts too. . .they're ALL good! 

Rebecca Brindle: Losing It Little By Little

Outward Praise vs. Inward Motivation

Today I saw my doctor for that follow up I mentioned yesterday. And everything went really well. She wants me to continue on my 1/2 dose of blood pressure medicine and agrees that if things keep progressing as they have been, I may be off the meds completely in about 3 months!

Good news! But at the same time, I found myself a little disappointed that she wasn't "overjoyed" at my success. She was happy for me, to be sure. But the level of excitement I was hoping for wasn't there. And it hit me that I've been wanting a jump-up-and-down reaction from a lot of people. Some of my closest friends haven't even mentioned the changes that I'm seeing in my physical appearance. With the exception of my sister and my best friend, that is! What I've come to see is that I have been longing for outward praise and recognition for my efforts and it's not happening. But really, who among us is brave enough to say "You've been losing weight!"?

So the work now for me is to remind myself that I'm doing this to feel better and live longer, not for other people to boost my ego. But every now and then it is nice to hear the words, "You are really looking great...good for you!" and there's nothing wrong with wanting to hear that.

The inward motivation is what must sustain me not only through the process of losing weight but of pursuing wellness for the rest of my life. And once the external transformation is complete, the comments of support and praise will naturally fall off too. So having my goal and "why" in place now will carry me through all the changes and challenges I will go through on this path I have chosen.

The Power of Choices

Not much to report by way of new insights, but I am still losing weight (yay!) I have a follow up appointment with my family doctor tomorrow, and I can't wait to show off my success! My blood pressure medicine has already been cut in half, maybe she'll take it away completely tomorrow? THAT is exactly why I began this journey in earnest this time around.

One thing I've been doing that may seem odd is I've been reading cookbooks. And not just the healthy variety, either. It's been oddly relaxing and comforting. Reading these cookbooks has reminded me that one day in the not too distant future I'll be able to have some of my favorite treats again, but having successfully lost weight and lowered my blood pressure (and thereby extended my life), I don't plan on losing control ever again. The key is moderation.

I've learned the power of a tall, cold glass of water when I think I'm hungry and I'm just really frustrated. I've learned he true joy of a good TV show or movie without having to have a snack to go with it. I'm not saying that I won't ever have popcorn at the theater again, but I won't NEED it anymore.

This experience is reminding me my true power. The power to make and stick to choices. And as I've taught my children, the power of choice amounts to nothing less than a super power!

It's Not About Perfection

It's about progress.  We've all heard this saying, or some form of it, before.  And it's true, but when it comes to everyday life and my stubborn streak of perfectionism, it can be a bitter pill to swallow.

I had a weight loss disappointment yesterday. . .I gained weight for the first time since beginning this diet.  And at first I was angry.  Angry that I had adhered to the plan PERFECTLY and yet my body decided to not give up an ounce and, instead, added some.  Now, I'm sure most people would start listing all the reason why this would happen, why it's normal, etc.  But in reality, yesterday morning standing on my bathroom scale, I didn't want to hear it!  I was pissed!! 

But then I realized this is going to be an up and down struggle for awhile.  It's not about each incremental loss or frustrating gain (in spite of perfect "performance").  It's about the progress I've made in how I approach food over all.  In truth, about my relationship with food.  This is proof that food cannot give to me what I want or need from it, other than sustenance.  I need to come to a place that I use food solely for the reason it was created: to keep me alive and healthy.  No more, no less.

It is not a tool to be used for keeping me company, or for patting me on the back, or even for making my body loose weight by my tyrant like control over what I eat.  It is only for feeding the cells of my body. 

So about halfway through the day, I decided, "I can roll with this."  I'll keep plugging along and doing my best to conform to the guidelines, but I refuse to make myself crazy.  And in spite of what I said in my first post about "this isn't a lifestyle change, it's a diet!". . .it really is a lifestyle change.  But not about WHAT I eat, but HOW I eat it and my own mindset.

This morning, I lost what I had gained plus a little.  Was that because I was perfect yesterday in my eating?  Nope, cuz I wasn't!  But I also didn't go crazy.  All those reasons for seeing a gain came flooding in and I understood that, indeed, it isn't about perfection, but about progress.  And I think I've made a LOT of that!

It's working!

So excited! I've released almost 7% of my starting weight! And the best news is that my blood pressure is down significantly. At a recent doctor's visit it was 180/98...yikes! Today it was 150/82. That's not stellar, I know, but it's a huge step for me and a motivator to keep going!

Patterns Emerge

I am truly fascinated by patterns. An example: I love that my oldest daughter was born on her great-great grandmother's and great-grandfather's birthday as well as the 8th anniversary of my husband's and my first date! But it's not only numbers, this fascination includes any kind of pattern be it dates, actions, outcomes, or the fact that I mistakenly and unintentionally dressed myself and BOTH my daughters in the same color on the same day.

Okay, enough my weirdness. As I am beginning to shed unwanted pounds from my body by following a rather rigorous diet, patterns are starting to show up. That happens when there isn't a great deal of food in the way. I began this diet knowing that my primary coping mechanism would be stripped away. And make no mistake, it is a DIET (not w lifestyle change)...I can't live the rest of my life eating this way, but for me it's a start. Plus, I already have in place a maintainence plan. (Feeling really good about that.)

Anyway, the patterns which are coming to the fore are not unknown to me. I have seen their hideous work before. It boils down to this, whenever I am stressed out (especially if it involves my children) or bored, I want to eat. Anything. At all. I'm not picky. But therein lies the problem, I completely give away my power to choose and hand it over to the pantry or fridge.

What this new program has done for me is restricting my diet so much that there is NO wiggle room. I don't have the option to have "this" now, but not "that" later. Like I said, stripped away. So I have had to cope in a more thoughtful, focused way. And you know what, it hasn't been that hard. When the thought comes, "I want (read: deserve) something to eat, I simply say, "That's not an option.", and I get cold water to drink and move on to something else. In the past when I tried doing something like this I ended up feeling neglected and sad. But now I know that I'm taking the high road and choosing a better life for myself and by extension, my family, and I can DO it! As a bonus I'm really, really proud of myself!

Pretty patterns, who knew?

Afraid

But what do I fear? That is the question. When I think about my family eating a meal completely different from my own, I feel left out, excluded. Especially when it includes things I love to eat. In the past when I have encountered stressful situations and didn't have immediate access to food, I felt panicked. But when I take a moment and think about these feelings, they evaporate. Almost as if they never existed in the first place. But in the moment, they are powerful forces that have driven me to fill a need that food can never meet. Today is the first day of the "active" phase of my new program. I hate calling it a diet, because for me, there is no going back to the eating I was doing before. Not that it was all that bad, but it was not the best for me. And it was not moving me down the road toward wellness. I don't plan to disclose in this setting what approach I am taking because I don't want things to spin into a detailed back and forth of "how did you do that" and "what do you eat" etc. This time and place is for looking long and hard at where I am headed which is the healthiest me. And while I feel sad for the loss of eating freedom and wonder what my life will be like when I am healthy and working to stay that way, I'll remind myself of what a good friend said to me today, "You *do* have a choice though. You *can* eat whatever you want. But, [based on past choices] you won't like the results. Since you won't like the results of eating whatever you want, you are [now, and in the future] making smarter choices." And little by little, I feel more and more brave.

And So I Begin. . .

Again.  We've all been here before, right?  Trying again (and again and again) to accomplish a long-desired goal?

For me, the issue of weight loss has now taken on a crisis nature.  My blood pressure is dangerously high.  And while that is scary, I choose not to focus on it.  You see, experience has taught me that what I focus on expands and takes over my thoughts, feelings and directly impacts my actions.  To me, it's a serious mistake to wake up every morning worried about my blood pressure.  So I am focusing instead on becoming the healthiest version of myself.  Body, mind and spirit.  All the areas of my life fall under this.  So while this blog is about weight loss right now, it won't always be like that.

There is much more to me than the number on the scale.  Unfortunately, I haven't always felt that way.  And that mind-set has led to my thinking of weight loss as a kind of panacea.  It's not.  Who I AM remains the same, always.  The compassionate, loyal, opinionated woman that I am does not fluctuate with the numbers on a bathroom (or doctor's!) scale.  I don't become a better version of myself by being a smaller size, only healthier.  And that's a laudable goal, as long as I don't think that being so will make everything else all better.

Last year I came up with a series of affirmations which define who I am-or hope to become-in the major areas of my life.  Here they are:

• I am strong, sleek & active.
• I am spiritual, prayerful & grace-filled.
• I am confident, gentle & patient.
• I am loving, devoted & passionate.
• I am successful, generous & consistent.
• I am happy.

I could say that I'm going to post everyday, and I might.  But I hope to come here and share my thoughts about who I am becoming and how I'm growing and changing on this journey to the healthiest me, which is not something that can be dictated by the calendar. 

Blessings to all!